If you were a soup, what soup would you be? (And other copywriting secrets)

By Garrett Mickley •  Updated: 01/10/24 •  2 min read

Someone in a copywriting group I’m in got this question from a potential client:

“If you were a soup, what soup would you be?”

They thought it was a pretty strange question from a potential client, but it’s actually not.

You see, back in the 12th-17th centuries, alchemists had to hide their esoteric knowledge in secret code.

At first, it was because the knowledge was so powerful that they didn’t want too many people to use it.

Imagine if any old bloke could turn lead into gold. It would completely destabilize the economy.

That’s not good business for the alchemists, so they kept their secrets behind symbols and metaphors.

Copywriting is the same.

It’s powerful, and we can’t just let anyone learn it.

Just like the alchemists, most copywriters are charlatans.

They’re not turning lead into gold.

They arrive with lead and hidden gold, and use slight of hand to switch them out so you think they’ve transmuted.

The true copywriters know about soup.

The question “If you were a soup, what soup would you be” was divised by an elite and clandesting guild of copywriters known as the Ink Illuminati to do two things:

  1. Figure out who the real copywriters are (for they will have an answer)
  2. Figure out what type of copywriter they are (as the answer will reveal)

Different soups have different meanings, so your answer is important but it must be knowledgable of the secret code.

Tomato soup means something different than chicken noodle soup means something different than italian wedding soup.

Only the initiated know what the correct answer for them is.

And if you try to pick one, they’ll know just by your writing if you know what you’re talking about or not.

If you know the secret code or not.

If you can turn lead into gold or you’re just attempting slight of hand.

For your information, I’m a beer cheese soup (made with PBR) and if you’re interested in learning more about copywriting (for your music, or software, or whatever it is you’re working on), hit me up.

Garrett Mickley

I've been working in digital marketing for a decade and a half, and I'm ready for a career change. This blog is my journal.

Keep Reading